Dear Fuckwad

Dear guy who for some reason smashed in the windshield of my car while it lay defenseless in my underground garage last night…

I would very much like to meet with you in person to discuss your actions. Could you kindly bring whatever implement you used to commit this senseless act of vandalism? I’d like to borrow it for just a few moments, and promise to return it once you’re unconscious.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience!

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