Updates from November, 2002 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Andrew 1:42 PM on December 2, 2002 Permalink
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    Monday, December 2nd, 2002: 

    Our last morning in Singapore was spent shopping in Chinatown, which clearly wasn’t enough — I had to duck back before the show to pick up some beckoning cats.

    After that we were invited to the home of our producer, for a delicious home-cooked lunch and a sari fashion show by the ladies in our troupe. The kind hospitality of our hosts didn’t end there. After the show I had the distinct pleasure of spending the evening — well, pretty much up to an hour before our departure — in the company of a delightful young lady who just happens to be our producer’s intern. While the others enjoyed a late-night nosh at the Newton Hawker Centre, I was whisked off in a tricked-out Jetta (whose driver was, shall we say, “nicely toasted”) to Zouk, home base for Singapore party people. The complex holds at least three clubs, each with different themes and music; we made it to two of them. As befitting a temple of dance culture, each room had a central stage that kids could hop up on to be seen. Under the influence of a few drinks myself, I was coerced into doing just that, and no sooner did I take my position when a blast of cold steam blinded me from above, in time to the pounding jungle rhythms. Any mojo that I had enjoyed up to that point was instantly lost; I shrieked liked an old lady!

    I’m still not sure how I managed to make the 6:50am flight to Hong Kong, but I persevered, and was rewarded with the chance to visit Sham Shui Po and The Golden Centre, yet another massive electronics mall. Never before have I seen rows of people staring thoughtfully at displays of bare circuit boards and processors, but my personal favourite was the pirated software in the basement, their packaging disguised with animated characters — who wouldn’t want a copy of Microsoft Office with the Power-Puff Girls on the box?

    Before heading back to the airport I stopped in to pick up my finished suit. For about $600 Canadian, I am now the proud owner of a hand-tailored three-piece cashmere suit, plus a built-to-order cotton shirt and complimentary tie. The proprietor does a brisk business, so if you’re planning a visit to Hong Kong, let Malik the suit man know you’re coming!

    Back at the airport, our Air Canada sugar daddy arranged for us to get passes to the executive lounge while we waited for our flight. We actually had a choice of the Royal Thai Orchid Lounge or United’s Red Carpet Club, but once inside either of them, we had to stay there. We chose poorly — UA’s airport oasis offered only oreos for food, and two beer fountains that didn’t work! But all was forgiven when our entire posse got bumped up to business class, for both legs of the journey home. I’ve divided my time between sleeping and writing this… Now I’m going to watch my Singapore movies on VCD!

     
  • Andrew 1:22 PM on November 30, 2002 Permalink
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    Saturday, November 30th, 2002: 

    Though I’ll have plenty of time to update this page on the ride home, by the time you read it I’ll be back in Toronto…

    I finally found my VCD copy of Money No Enough, the top-grossing Singaporean film of all time. I was also persuaded to get a copy of Talking Cock, which I’m really hoping isn’t a porno film. Another CD I’m hoping to find is a regular audio one; since being here I’ve twice heard oldies from the ’70s backed by a pumping disco beat and with sped-up vocals, Alvin & The Chipmunks-style. I was surprised to hear John Denver’s “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” done up in this manner, and downright shocked at a similar treatment of Supertramp’s “Logical Song”.

    The first part of our Friday afternoon was spent at Raffles Hotel, first at their decadent buffet lunch, and then at The Long Bar, birthplace of the Singapore Sling. We’ll have to see if the cocktail glass I swiped survives the baggage handlers on the way home.

    After that it was back to the theatre for some on-camera interviews with Andrew Chew, a local documentary filmmaker. Watching each other have questions put to them about comedy was a neat way of gaining insight into the passion we share about our craft. Perhaps it inspired us to do our best show yet that night; perhaps it was also the wonderful audience we had, with my old high school chum Ray Deonandan sitting in the front row. Either way, it sure is going to hard going back to Toronto, where I’ll be just another number auditioning for a Tim Horton’s spot :-(

     
  • Andrew 1:25 PM on November 28, 2002 Permalink
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    Thursday, November 28th, 2002: 

    Well, it must have been a good show last night, ’cause I stayed up with the cast way late and drank way too much. At our official post-show reception I met Mario Rosario, the kind gentleman from Air Canada who flew us over here, and a lovely young lady from Mumbai who just started working for Nokia, and had one of their sexy new phones. Then I made the mistake of drinking some more on the patio of the restaurant beside our hotel. I thought I could counteract the alcohol poisoning with some finger foods, but it didn’t work — I had the distinct displeasure of seeing said finger foods again only a hour or two later…

    Once I got over my hangover this morning, three of us set out for our first-ever Singapore subway ride and some bargain-hunting in the shops of Malay Village. But first we had some indigenous breakfast in a local food court. My appetizer was two pieces of grilled bread with peanut butter and cheese. Kooky.

     
  • Andrew 1:24 PM on November 28, 2002 Permalink
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    Friday, November 28th, 2002: 

    After the expected second night blues for our Second City show, our producer took all of us back to where I had been that very afternoon. But with the sun having set, and the Muslim community freed from the prescribed fasting of Ramadan, Malay Village was even more crowded and exciting than before. Being in the midst of these kind, gentle folks, it sure was hard thinking of them as terrorists — Mr. Bush, Jr. might do well to pay this area a visit!

    I stopped at one of the stalls to get myself a couple of henna tattoos, mostly to impress the young ladies that had come out shopping with us. If you’ve never heard of henna, well… It’s basically liquefied cow patties that get squeezed out of a tube onto your arm, or wherever else you want it. The tattoos only last about two weeks at best, but that didn’t stop Doug Morency and I from engaging in a little one-upsmanship: I started with an armband that would never be seen beneath my shirt, he raised me with a forearm scorpion, then I trumped him a dragon in the same place.

    You’re supposed to let the dung dry on your arm for at least half an hour, then scrape off the excess. That’s where the trouble started. By the time we got back to the hotel I had somehow smeared cow shit all over my pants and shirt. Luckily I have both spares and laundry facilities within the building. And the morning after, my new dragon doesn’t look so bad.

    One other thing I picked up was a CD of Indonesian jazz, which I’m listening to right now!

     
  • Andrew 1:26 PM on November 27, 2002 Permalink
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    Wednesday, November 27th, 2002: 

    It’s an oddly comforting feeling returning to a place so familiar that’s so far away. My hotel room has the same “open concept” shower (no shower curtain, just a big drain in the middle of the floor). There’s UE Square up the street, with the tasty breakfasts of Delifrance just a few steps within, and a valuable resource for groceries on the second floor. If I can drink my way through a two-four of Tiger beer from there, I can bring home a free cooler for my efforts!

    First, though, there was the matter of some requisite gadget shopping at Sim Lim square. Bargain hunting for such items in this city-state seems to be a waste of time, but Sim Lim manages to distinguish itself a bit with some straight-from-Japan product. Just down the street I met up with the rest of the gang to tour Little India, and with shoes and socks respectfully parked outside, paid my first-ever visit to a Hindu Temple.

    Only half of my comedy colleagues stuck it out for a visit to the Night Safari, but it was well-worth it. Imagine yourself on the set of Jurassic Park, with CGI dinosaurs replaced by living, breathing nocturnal wildlife, and you can only begin to understand what an incredible experience this is. At different points of the 40-hectare park I found myself eye to eye with a trio of giant hanging bats, audience to a gaggle of screaming baby otters (fun by day, cranky at night?), witness to the terrifying howls of laughing hyenas and privy to some Himalayan tigers actually meowing for food — the sound is a lot deeper, but still instantly recognizable to a cat owner like myself.

    After a scant few hours of sleep the presence of myself and Jenny Parsons was requested for an interview on Mandarin TV. It’s more than a little nerve-wracking to be on live television in a two-shot next to someone who’s talking at length about you in a language you don’t understand. Thankfully, the actual questions were addressed to us in our native tongue.

    Tonight is our opening night; stay tuned for a full report tomorrow!

     
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