Thursday, August 30th, 2001: Many thanks to all the finger-crossers out there... Looks like I'll be crossing the international date line, again!

Our itinerary so far includes shows in Hong Kong, Beijing and Singapore, with Kuala Lumpur still to be confirmed. And contrary to what you read in the last entry, it's not a tour of Canadian consulates, but a legitimate comedy road show for audiences of ex-pat civilians.

Our Hong Kong hotel is supposed to have high-speed Internet access in every room (the one in Singapore probably doesn't), so expect at least partial updates to this site during my trip. More good news is that with a Fido "world phone" I should have a signal in every stop but Beijing. So if you're one of the lucky few who has my cell phone number you can beat the system and talk to me on the other side of the globe for the price of a local call!

Speaking of Beijing, my visit to mainland China won't be my first experience with communism; in 1989 I went to a student film festival in Czechoslovakia, still in it's hammer and sickle days. The things I remember most? The scarcity of fruit and the border crossing. Nothing will wake you up from an overnight train ride like searchlights and machine gun towers...

Sunday, August 26th, 2001: I posted photos and a treat from Tokyo this morning, right after I finished playing Shenmue. I had given up on the game last January when my character (avatar, whatever) -- Ryo Hazuki -- got a job as a forklift operator; every time I played I had to put in a full day of work! But my infatuation with Japanese culture, boosted by my trip, lured me back. I can't tell you how happy I was when Ryo got fired!

Shenmue really is a landmark event in the mostly bullshit world of new media, half game and half epic movie. One of the things I enjoyed most about it was that it was so earnest -- no cynicism, post-modernism, parody... Just a well-told (if trite) story that you can interact with. It is precisely what makes me want to get into the videogames industry.

At the same time, the traditional discipline of corporate whoring calls, with bookings for upcoming Second City industrial shows. My first one this year (!) comes in September with a trip to Vancouver. I'm hoping to stay over an extra day and score an interview with Electronic Arts.

I also found out I'm a second-stringer for a tour of Canadian consulates in Asia. If someone on the A-list gets another gig, I could be going to Hong Kong, just like Ryo Hazuki will be doing in the Shenmue sequel! Keep your fingers crossed...

Tuesday, August 21st, 2001: Apparently I left Tokyo just in time. At this moment a typhoon named Pabuk is hitting Japan's western shore, hard enough to close Universal Studios Japan and put the televised high school baseball championships I'd been watching all week on hiatus. It's been downgraded from typhoon status, but whatever is left of it will hit the capital tomorrow morning.

After yesterday's entry I quickly packed up and checked out of the hotel. I had an hour before I was to meet up for lunch with Kim (see last Saturday), so I made a pilgrimage to the Tokyu Hands "creative life store". It's also mentioned in this month's WIRED (see Sunday), and with good reason: Had I an empty suitcase to fill with loot -- well, I could have got a suitcase there, even the materials to make one myself! I settled for an inflatable travel pillow, which came in handy during my flight later on.

Kim took me to this sushi place in Shibuya I had passed by a couple of times, noting the line-up that went down the street. On this particular lunch hour it was much shorter, so after taking note of the rules posted outside -- "please order at least seven dishes and refrain from lingering" -- we went in. Someone had told me that Japanese sushi was far more expensive and not that much better than what you could get in Toronto; they were wrong on both counts. The dishes we snatched from the conveyor belt in front of us all had ingredients that must have been dredged up from the sea that morning. And what better way to cleanse your palette than another visit to Starbucks?

Kim told me of her plans to move to Hawaii, a good strategic point for someone to do business with both Japan and the states. As good as her mastery of the Japanese language is (compared to mine), she confided that no gaijin could ever be completely accepted into Japanese society.

Still, it was with sad eyes that I watched Tokyo slip away from me on the train to the airport. I'm not the type for one-night stands, but that's how I'm thinking about the city on this, the morning after. She was playing hard to get at first and when all was said and done I never really did understand her, but it sure was a wild ride, and if given the chance I'd go back for seconds at a moments notice!

Monday, August 20th, 2001: Yesterday it became official -- I love this place!

My first stop on the day's itinerary was Asakusa, a huge street fair in front of the Sensoji Temple. Every conceivable consumable item was assembled in a promenade under a glass skylight, decorated by orange lanterns. I wisely held out for breakfast until I got here; right in front of the temple was a stand serving some kind of omelette or something; whatever it was, it had egg, bacon, some kind of starchy root filling, and was perfect.

A ferry down the Sumida river dropped me off near Shimbashi station, where I took an automated, elevated train to Odaiba -- almost. I decided to get off early and cross the almost 4km bridge across Tokyo Bay on foot. Though there appeared to be a big storm chasing me, it never materialized.

If Tokyo is the city of the 21st century, then Odaiba, or Rainbow Town, is it's suburb. Huge towers of condos with scenic views in every direction towered above me. Connected to all of them is Decks Tokyo Beach, two parallel malls, both meeting up with Sega Joypolis at the other end. After a snack and my first cup of coffee since I got here (it wasn't very good -- this is important for later) I took a stroll through Sega's theme park. I'm happy that I ordered my Samba de Amigo maracas over the 'Net; music games are still all the rage here.

Another, smaller bridge brought me to Palette Town and Mega Web. Palette Town is a rip-off of the mall in Caesar's Palace, where the fake sky goes from dawn to dusk in about two hours. But without the hordes of American tourists in their tacky shorts it seemed that much classier. Mega Web is basically a year-round showroom for Toyota. They even had their latest electric car available for an automated spin around the complex. This attraction had just closed when I got there. I also wanted to visit the Fuji TV Tower, but by this time I had a bad case of sensory overload, and made my retreat to Shibuya.

This morning I set out early to witness the Tokyo subway at rush hour. My vantage point was a less-travelled platform, across the tracks from what I was promised would be the big show. Perhaps due to the Obon festival (kind of like Japanese Thanksgiving), there wasn't nearly as much chaos as I expected, but I was impressed for the orderly manner in which passengers lined up in twos behind markers on the floor, where the doors to the arriving trains would open. It was just like the good old days of taking the York University Express bus from Wilson station!

Around 9AM I decided to leave Shinjuku station, by the correct train but in the wrong direction. At the next stop I switched over, and got my come-uppance. I wasn't pried into an already-full car by subway guards, but I did squeeze into one on my own -- barely. Apparently there are signs in subway cars asking patrons not to grab asses. I wouldn't know, since I can't read Japanese. But I can appreciate how it might be tempting...

The experience left me needing coffee. So ladies and gentlemen, it's time to close your bets; I finally surrendered to Starbucks :-(

Sunday, August 19th, 2001: Inspired by the Japanese cuisine I had sampled the night before, I decided yesterday to treat myself to a traditional Japanese breakfast in my hotel. I took the elevator up to the 25th floor, and was immediately ferried to a traditional western buffet of sad-looking pink sausages and hungover tourists. I explained my cravings to the waiter, who bowed an apology and took me to another, far better restaurant across the hall.

After that it was off to Shimokitazawa, to me about as Japanese as Tokyo gets, at least so far. The light rain that started as I left the subway station seemed perfectly appropriate for the series of narrow alleys broken up by train tracks. My favourite store there was Vili3 Vænga:d, a play on the words "Village Vanguard"... I think. In it I found all sorts of manga books and the usual assortment of imported American culture. The logo du jour for the Nipponese seems to be Motorola; maybe they think North American cell phones are rustic and cute?

I then headed back to Harajuku, camera in hand. I was told that Saturday afternoon was the time to see groundbreaking Japanese teen fashion. I saw another gaijin with the same digi-cam as mine and was going to point this out to her, until I deduced from her grave expression that she must be some kind of fashion spy for a big clothing label. Don't laugh -- it apparently happens all the time!

So what's the new look that's going to take the fashion world by storm? From what I saw, think Kelly McGillis in Witness. Now you can laugh...

I also got some gifts for my nieces at Kiddy Land. Now I'm not one to drop names, but I must digress to give some fairly big-ups to William Gibson for his article in the current issue of WIRED; Kiddy Land is quite famous, but I wouldn't have even found the place otherwise!

Before heading back to Shibuya I tooled around Meijijingu Shrine for a spell. The wide tree-covered paths were pierced by the constant sound of crows. They sound different then the few I've heard at home, more deep and jungle-y. I've heard them greet the rising sun at 5AM every morning since I've been here, an instant reminder that I ain't in Kansas any more.

In the evening I felt obliged to visit Roppongi, where all the gaijin go to party. The subway ride there had the same atmosphere you'd get in the Toronto underground on New Year's Eve at around 8 or 9PM. When I took my place in front of the Almond Café to "watch the world go by", I was greeted by lots of friendly, English-speaking people... All of them were passing out flyers for strip joints. Even the non-stripper-looking women had that desperate yet condescending air about them that I've observed many a Saturday night on Richmond Street. I turned my nose upward at the whole scene, and patted myself on the back with a return to Shibuya and my favourite fast food meal.

I've finally figured out why other caucasian folks seem so snobby wherever you pass them on the streets of Tokyo: When you're alone you feel like a hero every time you figure out where you're going on the subway, or make a transaction with a local merchant. Seeing other gaijin reminds you that you're not Superman, nor some exotic creature that the locals pass by in awed silence. You're just another damned tourist who doesn't speak the language and has barely a clue as to how to get around.

Or maybe I'm just goofy-lookin'...

Saturday, August 18th, 2001: Today my voice is recovering from actually speaking out loud...

Yesterday started with a visit to the Imperial Palace, which is of course closed on Fridays. My appetite for grand Japanese architecture unsatiated, I opted instead for Tokyo Dome City. I was expecting one of those huge indoor beaches that everyone's heard about; instead I got a baseball stadium and Power Rangers amusement park.

Then it was time to meet up with Kim Binsted, the mobile phone artificial intelligence expert who came to chat with our nerd school class. We met up at the 45th-floor bar of the fancy Park Hyatt Hotel. A brief tutorial on the features of my cell phone turned to a lengthy conversation about what's wrong with comedy today, and ended with my first proper Japanese meal in a back-alley local hangout. One of the dishes featured the bright orange yolk of a raw egg swimming in soy sauce; I preferred what Kim said was re-jigged Korean dish, though the Japanese would apparently never admit it.

Kim seemed to think that I could make a good living in Tokyo as a voice actor, doing English translations for film, TV and -- this piqued my interest -- video games. But I would never be famous, which is pretty much how I'm feeling about Canada at the moment...

Friday, August 17th, 2001: I conquered the subway, but the streets conquered me.

My first subway ride was an exhausting, white-knuckled affair. Why, you ask? Well, for starters have a gander at this map. Then realize that no less than three different companies lay claim to some part of the system, so transferring lines ain't easy, and is in some cases impossible. Then there are the fares. Passengers wishing to buy tickets are presented with a large system map, with a specific fare listed for each station. So just buying tickets is daunting in itself, even for locals!

Luckily, the subway database on my Palm was an accurate source for any subway line and direction that I needed. Also, had I purchased an incorrect fare (I didn't), I could have paid the difference in the fare adjustment office that every destination station has. Once on the subway itself, the air-conditioning provided some much-needed relief for my cold sweat, and a reassuring voice announced each station through the intercom as we approached it. Whew!

My first of two stops was Akihabara, the electronics mecca. The best way I can describe it (to Canadians) is if you took Toronto's Active Surplus, knocked the roof off of it and spread it out over several city blocks. I got my copy of the Tokyo Bus Guide video game, but couldn't find the maracas for Samba de Amigo, though I'm very proud of the pantomime I did to explain to the shopkeepers what I was looking for...

Feeling some hubris, I then proceeded directly to the Ginza area... Shopping for tourists and the well-heeled, big deal. When I passed the Warner Brothers store I knew it was time to leave, but not before a return visit to the Ginza franchise of the Japanese fast food chain I had discovered the day before. Five minutes of frantic pointing and either saying "hai" or shaking my head "no" rewarded me with a combo meal featuring the Japanese version of the Big Mac -- two layers of beef, a regular burger patty below and teriyaki on top -- now that's good eatin'!

After a brief return to command central (my hotel room), I set out on foot to explore Harajuku and Shinjuku. I found a site that some designer-guy made for his visiting friends, and planned to use the bigger stores mapped out on it as landmarks to guide me. The sun was just starting to set, so by the time I got to Shinjuku I would be able to see it in all it's Blade Runner-like glory.

Unfortunately I never made it. Harajuku was easy to find, and I would have been happy staying there if I was interested in overpriced vintage clothes from the States. But I took a right instead of a left at the Diesel store, and ended up near a baseball stadium.

Today I'm meeting up with an acquaintance who visited my nerd school class at the Film Centre; I'm looking forward to having an extended conversation in English!

Thursday, August 16th, 2001: Jet lag is still a problem.

I spent yesterday morning and afternoon exploring Shibuya. It seems to be more a centre of culture than of gadgets. I did find an official Sega arcade, but half of it was devoted to gambling. i-Mode phones are everywhere; I screwed mine up not knowing if it had voice mail or not, and missed two calls, probably from the people who rented it to me.

At one point I found myself off the beaten path, on an unusually quiet series of side streets. The few who passed me, mostly couples, weren't too keen on making eye contact. Then I figured it out: I'd found Love Hotel Hill!

When the heat was at it worst, I decided to splurge on a milkshake, not from McDonald's or Wendy's (if anyone is still wagering -- see yesterday), but from a local chain called -- well, the logo had an "L" with an orange sun coming out from behind it. Unfortunately the otherwise helpful young man behind the counter didn't speak English, and I ended up with another iced coffee, this one with cream!

For lunch I checked out the Food Fair in the basement of the Tokyu department store. Lots of interesting foodstuffs, but apparently nowhere to eat them. I settled for some take out noodles from a variety store, smiling like an idiot to whatever the cashier said until it was time to say "arigato".

Another Japanese voice followed me throughout the day. Some guy with a sound system so kick-ass that I could hear it in my 22nd-floor hotel room was repeating what sounded like a message of protest. It's around the anniversary of the Japanese surrender in World War Two, and all of Asian is up in arms about the Japanese Prime Minister's visit to a war memorial. Of course, for all I know, this guy could have been yelling "Remember, whatever the Canadian asks for, give him iced coffee!" into his megaphone.

Here's where the jet lag comes in: I came back to my hotel for a quick nap, and the next thing I knew it was 3 in the morning...

Today's mission is to conquer the subway system, or at least gain some functional experience with it. Joining me will be an invaluable piece of Palm software, Metro. My destination is Akihabara, and I won't leave until I find a copy of Tokyo Bus Guide for my Dreamcast :-P

Wednesday, August 15th, 2001: This is going to be a problem...

By Toronto time, I would have slept in until 4 in the afternoon, but here in Tokyo it's only 5AM, and I need coffee!

Remembering my experience with Shenmue, I wandered down the hall to the vending machine. Tokyians (?) love their vending machines; when I went out to find some bottled water last night, the only place I could find it was in the hotel lobby. An entire room there is devoted to vending machines for snacks, drinks and cigarettes. My water was waiting for me in the biggest one; after putting some money into it what looked like the Canada Space Arm retrieved my beverage for me.

So back to this morning: The smaller vending machine at the end of my hallway had an aluminum can with coffee beans on it. No-brainer, right? Wrong. The tinned beverage was indeed coffee, and was thankfully free of any milk products (I take my coffee black, like my heart), but it was chilled.

Of course there's a Starbucks in the shopping mall adjacent to the hotel. And of course I would consider it a moral failure to visit Starbucks on my first full day in Japan. How long do you think I'll last before caving in? Start placing your bets...

Tuesday, August 14th, 2001: Greetings from the not-too-distant future!

Thanks to half a box of Gravol, I breezed through my thirteen-hour flight to the land of the rising sun. Upon my arrival at Narita Airport I found the bus I was looking for, and booked a ticket to my hotel door without a hitch. Then said bus got stuck in the afternoon rush-hour. I don't get it; more than half of the cars I saw around us had the same in-dash video display. You'd think with technology like that somebody would be able to find a less-congested route. Or maybe they all did, at the exact same time!

I'm now a comfortable twenty-two storeys above the trend-setting madness that is Shibuya. My rented cell phone was waiting for me at the front desk, and I managed to hook up my high-speed 'Net connection using a Japanese manual.

I really want to go and look around, but it's getting hard to keep my eyes open...

Realizing how lame that must sound, I did venture out for a quick stroll. As the glass elevator took me down to street level, I saw a soccer match being played on the roof of a building across the street. And I'm not talking about a simple pick-up game à la Clerks; this was a full-on match with two uniformed teams on a turfed surface!

When I got to ground level, I basically walked around the block; even so, I had one of those "I have absolutely no idea where I am" moments. Luckily, I had used a guy hollering into a megaphone outside a drugstore as a marker, and quickly stumbled upon him again.

Sunday, August 12th, 2001: If you want to reach me in the next week, here's what you need to know:

Tomorrow I'll be crossing the international date line. After that, my trusty iceBook should receive email as usual. If it doesn't, you can send a short message directly to my rented cell phone -- send it to <jcr025@docomo.ne.jp>. And if you've got $5/minute or so to piss away, you can even call me directly at 011-81-903-165-3030.

I'll be updating this page on a regular basis. If you have anything to say about it, send me some kind of message; I'm sure that after a day or so I'll be happy to hear the English language from anyone!

Wednesday, August 8th, 2001: Oops!

In Toronto you've already missed one chance to see me and my Film Centre prototype on this week's Media Television. But fear not; there are two more: Tonight at 11:30PM and tomorrow at 8. If you can believe it, I'm already wistfully looking back at nerd school as a happier, more innocent time...

Breaking into the world of interactive entertainment (digital, not theatrical) is proving to be more difficult than I thought. The standard entry point into the industry seems to be as a game tester, a brainless, low-paying gig, but one that I could certainly fit into my presently sparse schedule of auditions, teaching and corporate shilling. The problem is that the big game companies are in California, Vancouver, Montreal -- anywhere but Toronto!

I'm thinking it would be both penny and pound foolish to give up those other sources of income for a pilgrimage to Activision or Electronic Arts, as there's also that little matter of the mortgage on my condo...

Monday, August 6th, 2001: My thought for today:

As I sit here in my living room, sort of watching Fear Factor, I'm sounding off about what's going on behind that old idiot box. Is it just me, or are these reality shows nothing more than desparate attempts by broadcasters to figure out what their dwindling audience wants?

Case in point: I was recently talking to a Comedy Network exec about CTV's Groundbreaker initiative, who told me in the same breath that what they're looking for is something that would "push the envelope" yet "appeal to a broad audience". Maybe I'm an idiot, but so far in my ten years of showbiz the two have been mutually exclusive.

A less likely scenario is that broadcasters know exactly what's going on, that the Internet has democratized media for all. But if this were the case, it would explain shows like Fear Factor; they're making us eat buffalo testicles as punishment!

Sunday, August 5th, 2001: World standard, huh?

I was dismayed to find out that Fido's GSM network doesn't yet work in Japan, even with a fancy-pants "world phone". The good news is that I can rent a fancy NTT DoCoMo handset, and experience the bells and whistles of i-Mode firsthand!

... And the bad news is that friends and family who want to reach me overseas will have to pay long distance :-(

Thursday, August 2nd, 2001: Woo... Hoo?

That was pretty much my reaction when I heard that Apple's wireless Airport technology will soon be available at a Starbucks near you. The good news is a wider adoption of Apple technology; the bad is that customers have to pay for it. You can read a hands-on review of the service at AnyWhereYouGo.

Damn those Baristas! If they had made the service free, I might actually endure the occasional scalding cup of overpriced, burnt bean juice from them...

Wednesday, August 1st, 2001: Did you know that this summer marks the 40th anniversary of the video game? This BBC article has all the details; after reading it you can play the game here. Don't expect much...

I picked up the tickets for my flight to Tokyo yesterday. It's way too expensive to even think about flying business class, but I did get a window seat in the first row of coach; it's right behind the bulkhead, with plenty of legroom. Take that, rest of Air Canada Flight #1!

More bad news on the thespian front: This article comes fresh today from Variety. You'd have to pay to read it on their website; here's the gist of it, for free... Thanks, AvantGo!

"Canucks' Labor [sic] Woes Spur Reverse Runaway

MONTREAL -- Hollywood may have dodged a labor bullet by forging new contracts for actors and writers, but its problems are just beginning in the Great White North.

The current agreement between ACTRA, Canada's main actors union, and the producers (both Canadian and American) expires at the end of the year, with negotiations set to begin this fall.

Top execs from the U.S. majors have told reps of the Canadian film business that the studios will not bring any productions to Canada in the coming months unless they can definitely wrap filming by Jan. 16. That's the date when Canadian actors can legally go on strike.

The timing couldn't be worse for Canada. There are no studio shoots here this summer because of the delays caused by the SAG negotiations. The majors all rushed to make extra films earlier in the year prior to the strike deadline and are only now scrambling to ready projects for the fall.

'It's a critical situation for everyone,' Montreal film commissioner Andre Lafond says. 'Toronto will lose. Montreal will lose. All I can say to ACTRA is do something. Someone is going to suffer. None of ACTRA's members know about this and they're going to lose money.'"

Well, it's not like I'm in any Hollywood movies anyway... But Cynthia Dale might want to start rolling her extra change :-P