I've spent the last two evenings skulking about the shadows, watching The Jack Miller Show, then An Awkward Evening with Martin and Johnson. The differences between the two crystallize what this particular Second City alumnus loves and hates about improv at the moment.

It's hard to bash my friends' work, and what I saw on the stage of The Tim Sims Playhouse mightn't have even been their fault, necessarily, but as I've witnessed firsthand in other improv shows like Pop. 282 and Sin City, throwing a couple of good improvisers onto a stage doesn't guarantee a good improvised scene. What's supposed to happen is a narrative arc that carries the characters and the plot forward; what happened on Thursday night was akin to watching the Carol Burnett Show -- lots of laughs onstage (and in the audience), but not much going on in the way of story. Sorry, guys...

Melody Johnson and Bob Martin, on the other hand, have apparently done their homework, or at least their scenework. Although perhaps a little lacking in the satire department (I like my comedy a little finger-waggy), the characters in every single scene had very clear objectives, an almost lost but very necessary ingredient in improv that I'm currently teaching to my Conservatory class. This, and some cleverly-disguised finger-wagging, can make all the difference in an improvised scene, and better scenework is crucial to the survival of the craft; otherwise it's doomed to the parlour games of Whose Line.

If you've channel-surfed past MuchMusic in the past couple of days, you must have seen at least some of the Intimate & Interactive special with Coldplay. As it is the custom for Much to rebroadcast these things around the clock for a week or so, have another peek and listen for Chris Martin's offhanded comment about George Bush "blowing up the world". The response from the crowd seems to suggest that our young'uns have about as much contempt for the U.S. President as I do.

I mean, the guy can't even speak English, for chrissakes!

For the past two days, I've been hosting a video for some visitors from the UK, walking around downtown Toronto and Niagara Falls in full RCMP regalia. I got stopped so many times for photos, we almost didn't get the damn thing finished! Something about that red and blue uniform moved me to play the part of goodwill ambassador, but not to the mob of rude Americans yelling "Hey Mountie! Look this way!" from the Maid of the Mist.

It seems there's this guy named Scott Ritter, a U.S. Marine and one of the original U.N. weapons inspectors brought in after the Gulf War. And it seems he was made into a bit of a patsy; the information he gathered somehow ended up in the hands of the C.I.A., who used it to draw up a list of targets for Operation Desert Fox, a military action which was, by the way, never sanctioned by the United Nations. So the guy understandably resigns, and is currently trying to stop the U.S. from going to war again. Here's the scary part: Mr. Ritter has been predicting a war against Iraq since July, and his timing for the thing is bang-on!

So I'm going for three. Cathay's All Asia Pass is supposed to fly you to 16 exotic cities for one fare -- 17 if you include Karachi, Pakistan (don't). My teaching and film night-hosting commitments only allow for a 13-day getaway at the end of November, and because I booked so late I'm down to a couple of days each in Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, plus a stopover in Hong Kong, the cell phone capital of the world!

Is it worth it? Well, who knows if Cathay will offer this deal ever again, what with the world forever changing, weapons of mass destruction, blah blah blah. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to see as much of this big, beautiful world as I can, whenever I can do it. And the further away it gets me from America, the better.

On that subject, here's some food for thought: The U.S. is bitching and moaning about Iraq being in direct violation of the United Nations by kicking out weapons inspectors. But if Dubya makes good on his promise to "go it alone" against Saddam Hussein, wouldn't he and his country be guilty of the same thing?

Earlier this week I had a meeting with The Comedy Network, who are interested in continuing their sponsorship of my fledgling movie night. Even better, they've promised to send someone down every month to scope for new product!

The endangered species crawling around at my feet was nothing new; the Toronto Zoo was present as a sponsor last year, along with Land Rover and the like. New to this year's event was Krispy Kreme, whose representatives were handing out their gooey product either by the doughnut or by the box. Halfway into the afternoon they ran out; no big surprise, as folks were helping themselves to way more than their fair share. The sight of anorexic actresses laden down with a stack of Krispy Kreme boxes, sometimes four or six high, was laughable. I mean, who are they kidding? Whatever they stuff past their pouty lips ain't stayin' down for long...

• Bruce Simpson's Stick Girl: Activism;
• Hotdogboy's Cut;
• Hey Brad, from Craig MacNaughton's All Day Breakfast Collection;
• Rubber Chicken Farmers' Flat Tyre.

What you won't get is the insightful interviews I did with the filmmakers, and the joy of watching funny movies with a live audience. But you already knew that, didn't ya?