Posts Tagged ‘Bermuda’

My Bermuda High Society Slight

Friday, July 7th, 2006

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So I’m back from “The Rock”, and had a great visit with my two brothers and their families, except for my last evening when I made the very tough but deliberate decision to abandon them.

We were invited to a Forth of July party at the swanky Mid Ocean Club. Now some people might be impressed by the sight of a golf course made up to look like the deck of a cruise ship, but what the photo above couldn’t quite capture was thick stench of pretense that quite frankly made my skin crawl. You have to understand that I spent a good part of my childhood dragged by the ear on a regular basis to another snooty Country Club, so wherever I get that same vibe my immediate instinct is to bolt.

I thought it polite to inform the people who had invited us that I was leaving, with a heartfelt apology and thanks. Others thought I should quietly disappear, like crumbs swept under a rug. Without going into any more specific details I can now say with some authority that Bermuda is home to an incestuous inner circle of high society expats who have nothing better to do than watch each other’s every move.

Once off the property and back on public roads I breathed in a fresh dose of pretense-free island air and pointed my scooter towards the town of St. George, where I took in the fireworks from the weekly Market Night street festival. After that I got some more local colour as a kind resident led me to a back-alley burger joint—there wasn’t even a sign on the door, but everyone inside addressed the lady at the grill as “mamma’, and she served up a mean fish sandwich!

My Big, Fat Fido Roaming Bill

Friday, March 31st, 2006

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I should have known that my trusty hiptop, which requires a persistent connection to the internet, wouldn’t make the best companion for my trip to Bermuda.

Here at home—in fact, anywhere on the continent, plus Hawaii—I can check email, surf the web and sync my personal info to my heart’s content, all for the same flat monthly data charge. But not so anywhere else, Bermuda included. Even with all my graphics and attachments disabled and one or two short online sessions a day I still managed to rack up a hundred-dollar data roaming bill from Fido.

And no, I wasn’t downloading porn!
:mad:

Bermuda Photos up on Flickr

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

So I’m back in Toronto, and waking up every morning to the very foundations of my home being shaken from the new condo going up next door…

Through the racket I’ve managed to upload my Bermuda photos to my Flickr account. You can get to them by clicking here… Enjoy!

Bermuda Film Fest – Day 9, Plus Bonus Extra

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

Just as I’d hoped, the matinee screening of ‘Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey’ brought out a full contingent of Bermuda’s “disaffected youth”, both young and old. Can troubled teens in shaggy hair and black T-shirts also be enrolled in summer sailing camp? Apparently so!

The film itself had plenty of facts but would have benefitted from a little more music, I thought. However, finding out that Nordic death-metal musicians regularly set Christian Churches on fire was certainly information worth knowing.

After a brief leg-stretch I was all set to head back inside the same theatre to see ‘Kilometer Zero’, but apparently DHL, the official fuck-up of the Bermuda Festival, screwed up yet again and mistakenly sent the film to Bahrain. Offered in its place was the award-winning Mexican comedy ‘Duck Season’, which I found so tedious that I got up midway through the film to leave.

Unfortunately for me, I chose the wrong side of the theatre to exit, and soon found myself in a locked stairwell. I heard voices through the keyhole on the second floor and knocked politely once, then louder a second time. When the door finally opened, I found myself in the middle of a packed meeting hall where I was clearly not welcome. I bowed my head in apology and quickly skulked to the door on the opposite wall.

Outside the building I queried two young gentlemen as to what was transpiring upstairs. With their answer I finally understood the cold stares: “Narcotics Anonymous.”

Film quote of the day:

“What would you say has been the main motivation in your music?”

(ten second pause)

“Satan.”

… Lead singer of the Norwegian death-metal band “Gorgoroth” in ‘Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey’.

Bermuda Film Fest – Day 8

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

A non-event, I’m afraid. DHL courier failed to deliver the print of ‘The Proposition’ in time for its 6:30pm screening, so the audience got their money back. And by the time I was ready to roll back into town for ‘Three Extremes’, the midnight trio of Asian horror shorts, there was a raging storm outside.

Too bad—I was really looking forward to it!