Last night I wandered deep into the vast cesspool of humanity and bad design that is MySpace. While I was somewhat prepared for the teenage poseurs, lonely, middle-aged men and thinly-veiled pornography, I certainly wasn’t expecting to find Jon Lovitz or Pauly Shore!

In his profile Mr. Lovitz writes:

I figured I’d use this web site to talk to my fans directly. Let you know what’s going on with me. And thank you for your support all these years. THANK YOU!!!

… And follows up on the blog section of his site with some very thorough answers to questions about the industry from fans. Mr. Shore’s page on the other hand is, well… Just sad, but really more in keeping with the whole MySpace experience anyway, if you ask me.

If you read between the lines in today’s iLaugh.com entry you may well surmise that, for the next little while at least, I’ll no longer be posting there on a daily basis. This is because the higher-ups are getting worried that the blog part of the site is growing exponentially at the expense of the multimedia content that’s slower in coming.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that I now have the luxury to take my sweet time with more polished, less time-critical material. Or in other words, I’m getting the same pay for ostensibly less work.

And here’s the great news: My boss has asked me to submit a reel and ideas for scripts.

I love this job!

Pravda online reports that U.S. scientist Igor Krishtafovich has discovered a formula for laughter. While I was personally more impressed that Pravda even had a website, here’s the formula:

HE = PI x C/T + BM, where…

• HE = humor effectiveness.
• PI = personal involvement.
• C = complexity of a joke. The higher degree of complexity the better provided that your audience can solve the problem within 1 or 2 seconds.
• T = time spent by a person solving a joke. The longer the time, the weaker the effect.
• BM = background mood. A joker can have an advantage if an audience enjoys the show. However, a real good joke can “blow up” the most dismal audience.

Now I know a number of comedic performers frequent this humble site… Perhaps we can build on Dr. Krishtafovich’s fine work with some formulas of our own? As an example:

HE = DJ + DA, where…

• DJ = dick joke.
• DA = drunk audience.

Let the comments begin!

Cowboys is a ten-minute silent scene, made famous by Dana Anderson and Bruce Pirrie. I did up this list of beats myself from a videotape, and thought it worthy of sharing…

Lights Up – SL, Ka-dink kad-ink to
Swinging Door – Squeak, Thru, Stop
Ka-dink to SR
Marc Entrance – Swinging Doors
Ka-dink, Ka-ching – Cross to SL
Order Shot – Dribble – Wa wa wa
Wa wa wa for Marc?
Back Up – Shoot Glass
Pimp Marc with more Broken Glass
Marc Breaks Own Glass
Gunplay – Spin, Switch
Throw Gun Up, L to R, R to L, Up/In
Marc – Gun Pimp
Ka-dink to Bar, Belt – “Untie”
Marc to Bar – Knife after his Coat
Marc – Pants Down
FIght – Punch Blocked, Punched
Out to Sheep – “Baaa”
Double Punch – R then L
Back to Bar, Belt – Kicked, Balls Beat
Pull Foot Out – You Try, then Marc
Pull Boot Out
Offer Boot, Shake, Train

By the way, if Google brought you to this page, please let me know what the hell you were searching for!