Posts Tagged ‘Corporate Whoring’

I, Facilitator

Friday, January 14th, 2005

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Apologies to Matt Baram
;)

I was up at 4am this past Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to be in the north end of Toronto for my part in a three-hour customer service workshop for the frontline employees of a major Canadian bank, an event played out twice daily in 41 locations across the country, making it the biggest corporate gig for The Toronto Second City ever.

Having signed a non-disclosure agreement before the gig there is much I can’t tell you. Here’s what I can:

There were two manager-types (plus a backup) handling the first two hours of the presentation and workshop before turning things over to yours truly. They were friendly folks and complimentary of my work; I found it especially cute that they asked me for pointers in public speaking.

Thursday morning’s session was kicked off by the bank’s number two exec, who came early to greet the participants as they arrived. For those employees who knew who this guy was, I think they were a bit freaked out to have him as the first they saw when they walked in the room. And it didn’t help that the exec was more than a bit awkward with his greetings, sticking his palm out to shake hands while his shell-shocked tellers were still struggling to remove their coats.

And my other facilitators were star-struck to the point where their smalltalk with the exec was absolutely painful to hear and watch. So I started chatting with the guy about anything at all, and before you know it he was telling me about a dinner he was having with his dad that night.

The exec sat beside me for the first part of the workshop, then gave me a sincere farewell when he had to duck out. One thing, though—and this applies to anybody I share a good-bye with: When you shake my hand please don’t wink; it really creeps me out!

My other insight into the world of banking was this: bank tellers are human beings too, and they get just as anxious as you do when there are long line-ups at your branch. In most cases they’re doing the best they can, so give ‘em a break when it’s your turn at the counter, okay?

We’re (all) Number One

Saturday, December 18th, 2004

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I’m currently being considered for a big corporate facilitation job in January—for those of you who don’t know, corporate facilitation is built on the tenuous argument that the fundamentals of theatrical improvisation also apply to the business world, thus enabling facilitators charge big money for teaching improv games to business clients.

During a rehearsal for this job one of my fellow facilitators flagged a potential problem, wherein a pair of participants in a particular exercise would be labeled as “A” and “B”. Citing a potential status issue – that is, person “B” feeling second-best—he suggested the labels “A” and “1”.

The response from higher-ups? “That’s a great idea!”

My response? “That’s simultaneously the saddest and most hilarious fucking thing I’ve ever heard!”

Where’s the Love?

Wednesday, November 24th, 2004

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This morning I’m heading down to 55 Wellington Street for my last day of harassing the top brass at TD Canada Trust, for a video to be shown at one of their upcoming conferences. It’s an easy and fun gig I’ve enjoyed for the second year in a row; the first video was such a hit that most of the executives actually remember me.

But yesterday I got the cold shoulder from CEO Ed Clark, who I had interviewed the week before. He looked like he was on his way to an important pow-wow, but I thought I’d at least get some form of acknowledgment in return for my friendly “hello”.

Perhaps it was an oversight, and if it was, Ed, hopefully you’ll find this page and show me some love.

Johnny Cash

Thursday, November 18th, 2004

An original cardboard cutout of Canada Trust’s former spokesperson, from the TD Archives.

Sideburned

Wednesday, November 17th, 2004

This ain’t no kinky webcam shot, just a memento of my beautiful mutton chops, which I had to trim this morning for a corporate gig…
:(