Andrew Currie Online

Our last morning in Singapore was spent shopping in Chinatown, which clearly wasn’t enough — I had to duck back before the show to pick up some beckoning cats.

After that we were invited to the home of our producer, for a delicious home-cooked lunch and a sari fashion show by the ladies in our troupe. The kind hospitality of our hosts didn’t end there. After the show I had the distinct pleasure of spending the evening — well, pretty much up to an hour before our departure — in the company of a delightful young lady who just happens to be our producer’s intern. While the others enjoyed a late-night nosh at the Newton Hawker Centre, I was whisked off in a tricked-out Jetta (whose driver was, shall we say, “nicely toasted”) to Zouk, home base for Singapore party people. The complex holds at least three clubs, each with different themes and music; we made it to two of them. As befitting a temple of dance culture, each room had a central stage that kids could hop up on to be seen. Under the influence of a few drinks myself, I was coerced into doing just that, and no sooner did I take my position when a blast of cold steam blinded me from above, in time to the pounding jungle rhythms. Any mojo that I had enjoyed up to that point was instantly lost; I shrieked liked an old lady!

I’m still not sure how I managed to make the 6:50am flight to Hong Kong, but I persevered, and was rewarded with the chance to visit Sham Shui Po and The Golden Centre, yet another massive electronics mall. Never before have I seen rows of people staring thoughtfully at displays of bare circuit boards and processors, but my personal favourite was the pirated software in the basement, their packaging disguised with animated characters — who wouldn’t want a copy of Microsoft Office with the Power-Puff Girls on the box?

Before heading back to the airport I stopped in to pick up my finished suit. For about $600 Canadian, I am now the proud owner of a hand-tailored three-piece cashmere suit, plus a built-to-order cotton shirt and complimentary tie. The proprietor does a brisk business, so if you’re planning a visit to Hong Kong, let Malik the suit man know you’re coming!

Back at the airport, our Air Canada sugar daddy arranged for us to get passes to the executive lounge while we waited for our flight. We actually had a choice of the Royal Thai Orchid Lounge or United’s Red Carpet Club, but once inside either of them, we had to stay there. We chose poorly — UA’s airport oasis offered only oreos for food, and two beer fountains that didn’t work! But all was forgiven when our entire posse got bumped up to business class, for both legs of the journey home. I’ve divided my time between sleeping and writing this… Now I’m going to watch my Singapore movies on VCD!

Though I’ll have plenty of time to update this page on the ride home, by the time you read it I’ll be back in Toronto…

I finally found my VCD copy of Money No Enough, the top-grossing Singaporean film of all time. I was also persuaded to get a copy of Talking Cock, which I’m really hoping isn’t a porno film. Another CD I’m hoping to find is a regular audio one; since being here I’ve twice heard oldies from the ’70s backed by a pumping disco beat and with sped-up vocals, Alvin & The Chipmunks-style. I was surprised to hear John Denver’s “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” done up in this manner, and downright shocked at a similar treatment of Supertramp’s “Logical Song”.

The first part of our Friday afternoon was spent at Raffles Hotel, first at their decadent buffet lunch, and then at The Long Bar, birthplace of the Singapore Sling. We’ll have to see if the cocktail glass I swiped survives the baggage handlers on the way home.

After that it was back to the theatre for some on-camera interviews with Andrew Chew, a local documentary filmmaker. Watching each other have questions put to them about comedy was a neat way of gaining insight into the passion we share about our craft. Perhaps it inspired us to do our best show yet that night; perhaps it was also the wonderful audience we had, with my old high school chum Ray Deonandan sitting in the front row. Either way, it sure is going to hard going back to Toronto, where I’ll be just another number auditioning for a Tim Horton’s spot

Well, it must have been a good show last night, ’cause I stayed up with the cast way late and drank way too much. At our official post-show reception I met Mario Rosario, the kind gentleman from Air Canada who flew us over here, and a lovely young lady from Mumbai who just started working for Nokia, and had one of their sexy new phones. Then I made the mistake of drinking some more on the patio of the restaurant beside our hotel. I thought I could counteract the alcohol poisoning with some finger foods, but it didn’t work — I had the distinct displeasure of seeing said finger foods again only a hour or two later…

Once I got over my hangover this morning, three of us set out for our first-ever Singapore subway ride and some bargain-hunting in the shops of Malay Village. But first we had some indigenous breakfast in a local food court. My appetizer was two pieces of grilled bread with peanut butter and cheese. Kooky.